Comment by scottbartell | Hacker News Reader

Comment by scottbartell | Hacker News Reader

Are you familiar with the concept of the False dilemma[0]? It seems as if you've limited yourself to an "either/or" situation when in fact there are countless other possible solutions to this problem.

Here are some possible alternatives:

- find a leadership coach and/or mentor

- delegate the parts of your job that you like the least

- find a way to reduce stress in your life (exercise, hobby, etc)

- try professional therapy

- share how you feel with your friends and/or family (maybe even leadership team)

- take a vacation

- work less

- define and respect clear work/life boundaries for yourself

- read about/learn how to manage stress more effectively

- create a project plan for yourself (what do _you_ want to accomplish for _yourself_ in the next 3,6,12 months)

I could go on and on.

Another thing I think that you should ask yourself is: would you really be happier working at WalMart? Is it really this specific job and role that's causing your unhappiness? Is there really nothing you can change to make you job more enjoyable? Is it possible that you're creating your own unhappiness?

From personal experience I highly recommend finding a great leadership coach. I had a leadership coach who really helped me tackle some potentially similar challenges I was having.

If you want to talk more feel free to ping me. Good luck!

[0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/False_dilemma

As you make your decision, you might want to consider applying the WARP decision framework from Decisive by Chip & Dan Heath[0]:

1. Widen your options

2. Reality-test your assumptions

3. Attain distance before deciding

4. Prepare to be wrong

The heath brothers offer a useful workbook[1] that goes into details for each of these steps. It might be worthwhile to go through it as you decide.

[0] http://heathbrothers.com/books/decisive/

[1] http://heathbrothers.com/ot/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/HBDWB...

The problem with reality testing is that reality tends to exclude options permanently while testing.

Unless by reality testing you mean testing tour perception and prediction against perception and prediction of reality that is.

+++++ for - take a vacation Nothing else will give you better clarity.

I don't think it's so much of a false dilemma as it was the OP's inability to find other options. They're posting here to find those options, which you've given a bunch of.

The trick for the OP now is to not just dismiss them all out of hand. I hear so many people throw advice away on the flimsiest of excuses, when just a little massaging can make them work.

This is a great list but feels unsorted. I'd go with:

1. Take a vacation.

2. Converse with someone you love and trust

The rest will likely follow. Again great list!

I feel that one of the most common pieces of advice to stressed people is to take a vacation. I am not sure how well that works. In my experience, stress is created not by the amount of work that I do but by the work that I feel that I don't get done.

Unless I would be able to comfortably disconnect completely on such a vacation, it would do little good or possibly make things worse.

Great advice, thanks, to add to this, don't worry about the state of your existing product, it's what it is, if you are acquired it is more likely for your presence, reputation and talent than for actual lines of code. [edit] spend some time forest bathing if you can!

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