Except for some of the details, this is my story too -- had coded at an earlier stage in life, but gotten away from it, then returned in mid 30s.
As advancement in my first career began to look more and more remote, I had found myself wishing I had become a computer programmer, and was frustrated that changing course was so hard. One day about two years ago I decided that if I wanted to become a programmer, then I should start programming. If I didn't keep up with the programming, then ipso facto I didn't want to be a programmer.
Two years on, with a few college classes under my belt (basically useful, but probably dispensable), and a couple of side projects in various states of disrepair, I've got an low level coding internship with a very supportive employer.
I'm hardly brilliant programmer, but my employer hasn't kicked me out the door yet. The corporate environment is, at best, ok, and I would probably prefer not to have a job at all, but I am learning a lot. As far as jobs go, I can't imagine a better one than the one I've got. I expect that what I'm learning will open doors in the future, and the despair that clouded my first career is replaced by a sense of (I hate buzzwords, but here one comes) empowerment.
Most importantly, I really enjoy tooling around with my (two) side projects. Having fun problems to work on is the best.