There can't be a social expectation that the privileged are entitled to cognitive labor from already-oppressed individuals, because that can and has been abused.
(That said, people are more likely to be open to a person that they can sense has already done the basic research.)
If nobody is willing to do that, they will appeal to your interests only in the most perfunctory way that never threatens their privileged position. Thus, you get a lot of "diversity panels" that are full of old White men speculating as to what makes you tick.
Fairness and "problematicness" don't enter into it. That's just how the world works. It's easy enough to differentiate ignorance born out of good faith from malicious sea-lioning without having to assume bad faith on everyone's parts simply because of how they present to the world.
It doesn't need to be in bad faith to be annoying. To illustrate the problem, I had a visible medical problem that didn't resolve quickly and had to deal with constant questions about how it was going. While I appreciated the sympathy, it was a bit annoying after answering the same question to tens of people.