You just explained one of the big deals.

More generally, the way tipping works, there is no clear, consistent, compatible expectation, so I'm forced into a position of either a) overpaying, b) committing a silent faux pas, or c) having negative feedback misinterpreted as stinginess or ignorance.

Would you not consider that a big deal? Are you really surprised about the existence of people who don't like the tipping system, or who don't consider "just stiff them" a valid workaround?