I am fortunate to consider Dominic a friend (he's slept on my couch, and I have shared beers with him in multiple cities), but I don't think that's quite enough to decentralize to meet the criteria.

I think that the real solution requires caching, lookups, and multiple types of access through fingerprinted (sorry, can't say "secure") forwarding and proxying. It's a big task, but I do think that a small example could be built within the next year.

Heck, even LoRa, with the right software behind it could be a contender, if married to the correct technology.

Hm. That gets me thinking.