This is wrong in multiple ways. The p-value is not an error rate
even if the null model is correct, "alpha" (the cutoff, usually 0.05) is the error rate.
The p-value also has nothing to do with "how likely it is we are seeing the result of a chance." As you note regarding the t-distribution, the p-value calculation assumes the null model is true (which not necessarily, but usually amounts to "chance did it").
How can a procedure both at once assume something is true and give you the probability it is true? You are also using the term "likelihood" in a strange way (it has a specific meaning when it comes to statistics). Anyway, your comments seem to indicate you hold two standard misinterpretations of p-values:
1 If P = .05, the null hypothesis has only a 5% chance of being true.
2 A nonsignificant difference (eg, P >= .05) means there is no difference between groups.
3 A statistically significant finding is clinically important.
4 Studies with P values on opposite sides of .05 are conflicting.
5 Studies with the same P value provide the same evidence against the null hypothesis.
6 P = .05 means that we have observed data that would occur only 5% of the time under the null hypothesis.
7 P = .05 and P <=.05 mean the same thing.
8 P values are properly written as inequalities (eg, “P <=.02” when P =.015)
9 P = .05 means that if you reject the null hypothesis, the probability of a type I error is only 5%.
10 With a P = .05 threshold for significance, the chance of a type I error will be 5%.
11 You should use a one-sided P value when you don’t care about a result in one direction, or a difference in
that direction is impossible.
12 A scientific conclusion or treatment policy should be based on whether or not the P value is significant.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18582619