It's a god damn miracle. Calculus is pretty fucking important and it's also easy if you're not a moron. So I'll teach you some of that shit.
Oh dear god.
Oh dear god.
IF YOU THINK IT IS HARD THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU
RISOTTO REQUIRES BOTH PATIENCE AND RICE
IF YOU HAVE NEITHER GO TO HELL"
and by better I mean hilarious. If my university was this entertaining I probably wouldn't have dropped out.
Then you won't be getting the attempted humor/references.