I'm sorry there's some sort of weird misunderstanding between us. That's definitely not what we're aiming for, and I would be happy to correct it if I knew how.
Please see my edit, I missed a crucial part of your reply. (And I think it answers your question as to how: i.e. don't respond harshly when you don't have to, whether to me or anyone else. There were lots of gentler options available in both our cases here.)