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Comment by sivers | Hacker News Reader

The HN take-away:

Behind what looks like a success could actually be a failure. (And probably vice-versa.)

For anyone that didn't click-through to it, Derek links to his favorite fable, which is well worth a read (one of my favorites too).

http://sivers.org/horses

He also wrote a song about that fable which is great, check it out here: http://sivers.org/mp3/DEREK_SIVERS-Still_Too_Soon_to_Tell-19...

Absolutely true, especially the vice-versa part. Everyone's definition of success is different. Others may think you are a failure based on this post, while thinking you were a success based on almost every other post. Their perception of your success or failure should not change whether you feel successful or not. The only thing that matters is whether you yourself feel successful or not. If not (having read your blog for a while), I'm certain you're on the way to change things around.

And yes, big changes are awesome. Took me almost a year to change my work/school situation but now I'm finally happy about how things are going to be.

The "vice-versa" part is an important life lesson. Walk to a freeway onramp w/ a rucksack on your back and stick out your thumb, you'll probably meet some fascinating people. Quit what seems like a safe job, travel a bit, land in a different city, and see what you can do there - at the worst, you'll find something differently stimulating. The fear of change is never based on certainty, just on an inverse relationship with one's own flexibility. And I'd wager that, generally speaking, the more flexible, the better.

Also, make sure you're pursuing your own definition of success and not one you picked up from somebody else: http://www.ted.com/talks/alain_de_botton_a_kinder_gentler_ph...

(De Botton's books on these and similar subjects are worth a read)

Thanks for sharing this, it was extremely brave of you to do so. Speaking of one's failures in public requires a high degree of courage. Besides, from reading your other posts on HN, I thought you were what I would generally consider a successful guy. But like you said, there's always a flip side in every situation.

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