My current hypothesis is that a sever lack of self-esteem causes me to rely on esteem from others. But because negative interactions hurt so much more than good interactions feel good, I just end up avoiding others.
There's also my mother's hypothesis that some combination of drugs will fix me. I think this seems improbable, but she claims it's how she was fixed.
Once you've really really realized that ( knowing it is not enough, you have to know people that seem brilliant and successful and find out how shite or vulnerable they sometimes feel), you start to be a little less ashamed of your own weaknesses.
Another good thing is your start to be a lot more tolerant and human, and, well, less of an asshole.
You also become less afraid of failing, which lets you try more things.