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Comment by jokr004 | Hacker News Reader

I'm in the process of recovering from a serious addiction to furanyl-fentanyl. I don't really care to get too into it, I really can't explain the pain that stuff has caused me. I've been through a lot in life, but I've never been through anything so traumatic.. This stuff is a nightmare like you can't possibly understand without being there yourself, I hope none of you ever find yourself in that position.. I've been in a methadone program for the past 6 months now. We really need to put money into treatment, the program that I'm in literally saved my life. I'm lucky enough to have insurance that actually covers most of the cost, but most people in my situation don't have that luxury.

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I was actually addicted to methadone, only used heroin a couple times in my life. I used it because I could work and get stuff done for days on end while being high. I knew people who died because they forgot you can't drink alcohol when you're on it, but I was delusional enough to think I was better when I was on it.

It ended for me when I got old enough to notice the kids at these places I was going to by my drugs, just to do my dirt and leave. The last straw was when I stumbled into a bedroom while trying to find a bathroom at a dealers house. I walked into a room with 6 or 7 kids under 10 years old wearing big bubble coats and gloves, all huddled together in the middle of the room trying to stay warm. It was winter, and it hadn't dawned on me that the house had no heat. I've never been able to forget how I'd been contributed to their situation, my actions rippled out to affect many people beyond myself. Relying on drugs started to feel like a very selfish, narcissistic way of life

> I'm in the process of recovering from a serious addiction to furanyl-fentanyl.

> This stuff is a nightmare like you can't possibly understand without being there yourself

From someone who hasn't been there themselves, but just lost my best friend to fentanyl, I hope you stick with recovery. She was actually in a very nice recovery program, but managed to sneak a cell phone in. Point is, it only takes one bad decision that I hope you don't make.

Im glad to hear you're doing better. Keep at it. I didn't get into opioids personally but grew up in and lived in that type of environment for years and had my own addiction issues. I've seen alot of good people get caught up in it. We need more programs for addiction and mental health. It's wrong that things are the way they are. No one should have to live like that. We need to find a better way.

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