>Their research showed that gossip and ostracism can have very positive effects. They are tools by which groups reform bullies, thwart exploitation of "nice people" and encourage cooperation.

"Reform." Sure. Look, gossiping behind peoples' back doesn't work as a feedback mechanism for everyone. If you can't read the cues, your only option is to be ruthlessly conservative around others:

1. Never trust anybody.

2. Never introduce yourself into a social situation that you haven't been specifically invited to join.

3. Always try to remember what the people around you believe or feel strongly about, and be careful never to mention those things.

4. Always be pleasant and agreeable, never directly contradict people. Never speak your mind, and never be fully honest and open.

I mean, I guess that's a positive outcome from society's point of view. There's no trouble, no friction, no inadvertent impositions on others. That's good. But I dunno, it doesn't feel very positive. I like people, and I feel like most of my views are pretty agreeable, but ... well, I don't know. Nobody ever tells me these things.

Edit: What? I can't really pick up on these things, and this is what I slowly and painfully learned from gossip growing up. It's been very isolating, and hard to unlearn as an adult. What problem do people have with this point? Is my experience invalid?