There's no need to be like that.
> Is there some reason programmers feel this need to bring up workarounds when I'm looking for an actual solution?
It is a solution! It's not the same solution you want, but it's an actual solution to the problem you described.
> Address the point the person you're responding to is making, and answer only the questions they are asking.
They are addressing the point, and " answer only the questions they are asking." is a dreadful idea to me. So often people are asking how to solve a problem in a specific way, but there's no good reason to be limiting themselves in that way. Given that they currently can't easily solve their problem in that specific way, it suggests that if there is a nice solution they are likely looking in the wrong place.
> Making assumptions just wastes people's time.
I feel like not sharing a solution because you think that the person you're trying to help has some unexpected extra
> is how I always read these types of responses in my head, and it's really frustrating because often-times I'm already aware of whatever workaround you've mentioned, have already tried it, and know it's not suitable. It's doubly frustrating when you're specifically looking for the solution that's not the workaround.
Then you should make it more explicit what you've already tried. We're not inside your head, and many people haven't tried these things before. This is a good guide: http://www.catb.org/esr/faqs/smart-questions.html
I didn't realise lambda@edge was a thing, or that I could use it to solve these problems. If I'd asked the question, these would have helped me. Why should someone refrain from writing a concise and polite response helping me purely because they think I may have tried that before and it will annoy me?
> "You should be doing this you pleb!" is how I always read these types of responses in my head,
Then you may benefit from trying to work on this. Their reply has none of this snark or rudeness at all, and is simply listing some ways of solving the problem. You are the one that added this mentally, and then it annoys you. You are adding something yourself which then annoys you.
Go back and read what they said. They very simply explained that AWS let you do those things using lambda@edge. There was absolutely no reason to reply so rudely.