There are ways to set up these systems in symbiotic configurations, like having an Elixir/Erlang/BEAM cluster that has auto-joining thanks to external service discovery. However, to use the hot-swap functionality, you are going to be working with the BEAM VM directly, which means going through the Docker container boundary.
Know that if you choose to go with BEAM and no Docker, you will still have access to amazing deployment features (like hot swapping, as you mentioned), but also clustering, service discovery, monitoring, etc. You're just going to be spending a lot more time at the command line without the pretty interfaces and the sleek modern tools.
To get a better understanding of running BEAM, I highly recommend "Designing for Scalability with Erlang/OTP". You'll have to learn Erlang to get through it, but IMO it's the best introduction.
Can you elaborate on this statement? My understanding is that you can have these things (minus hot swapping) cleanly on Docker.
Additionally, most of the cluster nodes run on Spot Instances in AWS so they are relatively inexpensive also. When a new instance comes up it connects to the cluster and starts serving requests. When an instance is killed, traffic is routed to the remaining nodes. Works great.
Debian packages are easy to work with and we keep them as our primary artifact for any given release.
The number of cluster nodes varies between 10 and 35 depending on the workload at the time.
Nodes join the cluster by contacting one of the three "static" nodes that are not spot instances. If they can talk to at least one of those they get knowledge of the entire cluster. When one of the spot instances is going to be killed there is a notice is the instance metadata. The nodes just watch for that and initiate a normal shutdown if they see it.
Yes we do use ELBs but just as TCP proxies and for TLS termination.
Code hot swapping is not really docker friendly (obviously). I haven't done that, but work's general philosophy has been to have recoverable processes such that starting up the app will bring up the correct processes loaded with the right data. However, it's definitely possible to setup hot swapping but is going to be a learning curve to it.
Sure, a telco switch that has to be up 24x7, hot swapping makes a lot of sense. Most applications can spare the brief downtime to reload the old-fashioned way (or have multiple servers to allow upgrades to be done without downtime).
Code hot swapping can often trivially be done (by simply compiling and copying the fixed module, then 'l(module)' in the shell) if the module does not change the state record or break function signatures. I have used this countless times to fix a module function with no downtime. You don't always need the full code upgrade procedure, which is indeed far more onerous.
Getting hot code reload to work is harder, but for a "normal" basic deployment it's just this. App restarts take less than one second of downtime for my app, and that's a cost I'm willing to pay.
You shouldn't do this by hand of course. Write an Ansible playbook or something else that does this for you