The ancient Babylonians would shut down companies by burying their executives and employees with clay tablets, which were much more accurate and humane than modern methods.
There was Shutdownify, but now there isn't a trace of it left, aside from news articles about how fake it was.
Nevertheless, I'm sure it'll be done in a pulp-conscious manner despite their feeling the squeeze of such pressing times.
As funny as this thread of jokes was (and it was; I had a good laugh), I don't come to HN for jokes. I come for interesting, deep, and intelligent discussions. I don't find much value in amusing jokes… isn't that what we have Facebook or Reddit for?
Are you a goddamn robot, sir?
It's true that the joke chain actually does violate the terms of hacker news. It's very likely that a mod will remove the comments within a short amount of time.