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Comment by emodendroket | Hacker News Reader

> there is always a suspicion … that one is living a lie or a mistake; that something crucially important has been overlooked, missed, neglected, left untried and unexplored; that a vital obligation to one’s own authentic self has not been met, or that some chances of unknown happiness completely different from any happiness experienced before have not been taken up in time and are bound to be lost forever.

In my opinion this quote sums up not only the thesis of the article but also one of the primary diseases afflicting our society.

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I tend to agree, but I think it's pretty deeply rooted, and it's not a new thing by any stretch. I reject the idea that this is somehow a particularly modern dysfunction.

As children and young adults people are taught to "pursue their dreams" and "find their passion" and many other aspirational platitudes.

Then, adult life comes along and most of us become decidedly average because, well, that's statistics for you.

But many are then left with this feeling that they've somehow failed. That if they'd taken that other road that diverged in that wood a ways back, maybe they'd be living that fantasy life that they were sold.

What we're not taught is how to be happy in the present. Aspiring to change is vital to improve ourselves and the world around us. But equally valuing and appreciating what we already have is every bit as important.

Hm, well, I think it is fair to say the cult of the individual has a pedigree a few centuries long, but it seems to me like the collapse of groups and institutions (everything from religion to social activities like bowling leagues, really) and generally more atomized relationships have removed the fetters preventing it from reaching its most extreme expression. I guess this claim risks veering into "things were better in the good old days" which isn't really what I mean.

Yeah, I dunno about that.

Groups and institutions are great for creating additional social pressures that discourage people from violating morays. But unless you couple that with a fundamentally different set of values, I don't see how they are a solution. If anything, they create additional strictures that encourage the kind of rule-breaking behaviour the article talks about.

What I'd say is that such institutions help temper the view that the self and short-term utility for the self are the ultimate good.

Again, that presupposes a different set of values.

Consider common American Evangelical beliefs that focus on praying for specific material or personal gain (such as good health). This is nothing more than religion blended with "the cult of the individual". As such, I have little reason to believe those institutions would create better outcomes.

I think in all but the most extreme cases, even then, there will be an interest in the health and well-being of the whole community, prayer lists for parishioners who are ailing, and so on. Perhaps not for the TV guys who preach out of converted sports arenas but I think it's a little questionable if that really represents a community.

This quote sounds childish imho. I know this feeling, I believe every teen feels this way, but I don't lose sleep over my decisions or "what if.." scenarios anymore. The most important truth and lesson learned during my life was "always be in truth with oneself and others": if you are not happy about something - change it or find the root cause and fix it, take responsibilities seriously and avoid lies whenever possible (it is a burden that keeps growing as a snowball and finally crushes you); if you are not happy with your current partner and you see no way to fix it -- have "balls" to say so and move in separate ways.

Well, yes, I agree, but it's thinking that is a festering sore in our Zeitgeist.

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