I wish the HN community would collectively decide to downvote posts like these, which reward people who use clickbaity titles to get attention at the cost of hiding more careful analyses.

The post can be summarized as a critique of a programming language that did not meet the author's desires, but sections of the critique is (1) dislike of the syntax, (2) a specific missing feature, and (3) a very specific feature which doesn't exist in any of the popular scientific computing languages. It's fine to talk about not liking a tool, but it doesn't merit "fails hard".