Does this (read: could this) help explain why some couples have problems conceiving? Perhaps, at least in some cases, the egg is saying, "no way buddy."
Assuming this is true, it would be happening in less than 1% of cases (given the prevalence of male-factor infertility and the prevalence of its known causes). So if such an ability exists, it doesn't seem to be getting used very often. Which, given the evolutionary complexity that would be required to evolve such a system, seems surprising. So my guess is that either that's not a thing, or else it exists only as a failure state of some other mechanism rather than as something that has evolved to directly confer some sort of reproductive advantage.
To me that doesn't sound too far fetched and to some extent makes perfect sense.
Edit: miscarriages are incredibly common. This will/has affected people of almost all backgrounds. The culture of silence on the topic leaves you totally unprepared for it as a reality.
I agree that silence doesn't help and on HN is most likely unnecessary. But in general conversation it is reasonable to be a bit more circumspect.
None the less, sorry about that.
Mind you, I get the couple is often guttes. But emotions aside, it's a biological positive.
When you experience this the only thing that helps is understanding that it is nothing you did but a simple case of things not having worked.
I agree, on the surface my intent (from my POV) was not to offend. That said, I can see how my word / idea choice could have been better.
The apology is to acknowledge that yes I could have done better and then even if I didn't mean to offend the receiver's does still have value. Human to human, I wanted to acknowledge that.
Perhaps not very HN but I'm comfortable with that ;)
A friend of mine to who had the misfortune of this happening to him described it as the "worst thing he could ever image happening to a person" - they were mentally broken for months. So I wouldn't say this is a lighthearted comment to make, especially if you said it to them face-to-face.
Stillbirth is rare. Miscarriage is incredibly common.
Both are painful I suspect a stillbirth far more so. The difference is that people shouldn't expect a stillbirth anymore than the death of a child - there is no need to prepare for it as a likely outcome. Meanwhile if you are intending to have more than one birth child you are more likely to experience miscarriage than not - it is better to be ready for it than have it come as a total surprise.
Edited slightly.