Ask HN: About the direction in life | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: About the direction in life

6 pointsgyvastis6 comments

Hi, everyone. This community consists of a huge number of educated, well established people who, I assume, has most things under control. I assume you have direction in life or know how to choose one. The following will come from the bottom of my heart, as I have no one to whom I could extress this in a meaningful manner.

I'm 27/M. For the pas year I've been living in Amsterdam, originally from Lithuania. I'm web developer by career, intraverted but open minded. I've jumped to the offer of working in Amsterdam as it fed my hunger for direction in life. I've been successful thus far, but that's part of thr problem. Even though I'm keen to depression and this transition to a new city, new coutry, new culture, language, new people had its difficulties but it wasn't really a hardship as I've reached my job goals fairly easily and made friends.

But that's the problem. It all seems meaningless. Recently I've broke up with my girlfriend after four years. It gave me time to think. I want to do something enriching, something meaningful, maybe impact somebody's lives for the better. But I'm clueless on what direction to take.

I do feel wanderlust. I hate material posessions. I have some money saved up which would help me for a while if I'd decide to quit my job. I've been wondering of going nomad, working remotely and travel the world but I don't want to live for myself anymore. I want to dedicate myself to something meaningful.

Have any of you been in such crossroad? If so, what was your decision and how did it turned out?

Thank you sincerely for your answers.

One thing I can say is that it's possible to feel the way you feel even for someone in a situation where they seem like they "have things figured out".

Read Seneca's On the Shortness of Life. It and other works of Stoic philosophy help me at times when I feel this way.

Changing jobs/cities/partners can sometimes be the answer, but finding a source of value that is robust to changing circumstances is the only hope we have in life.

Sure. I've been there plenty of times, and have managed to push through to become relatively successful in life in a few peoples eyes.

Look, there's a lot I could say on this, but the one piece of advice I would give is to simply avoid inaction.

Right, I know what you're thinking. That sounds vague as shit and completely impractical. But what I mean by is that, for me, when I was in similarly tight spots to where you are right now, I found that the worst thing I could do was stay in my head.

This is now of course amplified by the information age we all live in. While people argue the converse and say the internet is full of rubbish, you really don't have to travel too far online to purposely find and overturn stones of some seriously deep knowledge and wisdom. Take HN for example - there are so many smart people here that could offer you a smorgasbord of options for how you can elevate yourself from this rut.

But this is precisely what I warn you to be mindful of. Because in the time that you've half-chewed and entertained the plethora of life-changing ideas around here or other somewhat enlightened parts of the web, you've not only not implemented a single one, but you've become addicted to chasing the next life-changing idea that will one day set you on the course you desire.

That's why I say that the most important thing is to do SOME things. Whatever it is: improv, travel, meditation, stoicism, working out - there's so many great things you can do to start getting things moving. But the crucial thing I found was to not get caught up in what the "right" thing or the "best" thing was, but simply pick a few things and start enacting them. This is the way one changes their life.

Additionally. and perhaps this pertains to my genetic makeup and neuroses, but I found more I pushed myself socially and tried to connect with others, the faster things start getting better for me. Even if I'd fuck up and made an ass of myself back in the day, I found that simply the act of getting that social 'ping' from another person emboldened my sense of self - regardless if it was a fun or awkward interaction.

There is a story where two bricklayers working side by side are asked what they are doing. One says "Building a wall." The other says "Building a cathedral!"

Maybe you need to make big changes in life. Or maybe you just need a different understanding of the role you are playing as a tiny cog in a very big machine with 7 billion people in it.

PS: We are all just dust in the wind. Ultimately, none of it really matters. But we each need to do what makes sense to us to the best of our ability.

Develop a sense of self importance. It may seem antithetical to who you are but cultivate it a little. It creates drive and purpose via ego. Otherwise you will start and stop forever because ‘nothing matters in the end’, but your newself is about: you matter and what you do matters

When single, you become a philosopher. When married with kids, you are happy if you get an hour of sleep.

Read Seneca's On the Shortness of Life.

I don't have a lot of experience here, but I'd recommend watching the movie Lost in Translation. It taught me how it was ok to be uncertain about life, and gave me a lot of comfort.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com