Tbh, 200ms for the db is massive. I have a 100ms limit at which my mongodb writes into the slow-log. It's an almost empty log. My point being, apps can have all sorts of bottlenecks and you only have to throw the right brain at the problem to fix it, no need to replace the techstack.
Yes, gems. The ecosphere in ruby is superb. I'm started working with node a lot more these days and it's a) confusing and b) small packages for all those things whatevertheycallitthesedaysscript is missing. 243 gems in my 7yr old Ruby vs 918 node modules in an app we started this month. What's Elexir/Erlang like in this respect?