Comment by git-pull | Hacker News Reader

Comment by git-pull | Hacker News Reader

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> Ask yourself, do I really need and care for this contact? Remove people that do not add value to your life.

I do a different test. It's called "Do you care about me?"

If I got in a car crash over the weekend, would you even know? If you found out, would you visit me in the hospital?

If the answer is yes: but they're family, I already have their contact info. For non-family, that group fluctuates, and more often than not, it's zero. I'm fine with the number staying there. Benefits include: Less drama, breakups, regrets, and more time to get work done.

If the answer is no, which it mostly is: I feel I save time and am more self-honest not connecting with them.

But as I get closer to 30 I feel less interest in connecting with others. The only exception is when I travel abroad and the surroundings are more intriguing.

On the other hand: Social media is a great marketing tool. I'm fine if people use Facebook however they choose. And I also agree with pruning boring content in favor of subscribing / liking manually.

Organizing your life to minimize "drama, breakups, [and] regrets" and maximize "time to get work done" is a good way to end up unhappy and lonely.

Work is important, but your work can't love you back.

> Work is important, but your work can't love you back.

Work is where we spend the majority of our time and I suspect that >50% of adult friendship originates at work. It is important to think of work as a social activity and put some effort. Even if you are very much a "work to live" person, it is worth knowing your co-workers well enough to decide if you want to pursue them as friends.

I am awake for approximately 112 hours a week, only 40 is spent at work. That's only 36% of my time spent at work, that's not even including vacations. Very far from the majority of my time.

If you consider time spent at work as a "social activity" I would suggest spending more time working while at work.

Most people do not meet their good, actual, lasting friends at work, usually work friendships are pretty superficial. Most fade once you aren't required to see each other every day.

> Organizing your life to minimize "drama, breakups, [and] regrets" and maximize "time to get work done" is a good way to end up unhappy and lonely.

I feel that's the mentality pressuring people into social networks that otherwise wouldn't use them. Appealing to stuff like status, happiness, and so on.

And I don't think it works out in practice. I think putting social stuff, especially facebook on the back burner, and investing in accomplishments as a primary goal, is the best life choice.

As far back as history goes, people have both sought and claimed to have the answers to happiness. I don't think relationships are going to give me that fulfillment in the end.

Look at celebs: despite their popularity, money, and status, they're prone to loneliness and unhappiness. I think there's more to the equation of fulfillment, and we're all looking to discover what works for us. I don't believe stuff like Facebook is the key, but if other's do, more power to them.

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