Thank you for the sobering reprimand. I feel ashamed of this comment (and the other ones). It served no purpose but to inflame and provoke.
This was a tough thread but I don’t carry any hard feelings. Nobody won, here. Let’s learn for next time, I owe you a beer, and best of luck (really).
Although I still feel like people around me give me a difficult time accepting my behavior, at least now I know a huge chunk of the problem also lies in my behavior - and it is only there that I can fix that anguish, not externally. So yeah, hard small victories, I guess.