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Comment by scalesolved | Hacker News Reader

As a disabled person I find this perspective incredibly odd. Why have no hesitation?

I find most people will ask about my disability when I'm doing something that is not affected by it all, they'll start with the 'hope you're not offended but I'm curious, how would you do X?'. This is usually followed by them telling me of a disabled person they know that has a totally different condition but is inspiring.

If you have a strong aversion to private people perhaps you should not ask such personal questions?

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Because if you don't ask you won't have an answer ? If I am legitimately curious, why shouldn't I ask ?

Also I didn't say I mind to have someone refuse to answer. Just that they go straight to the pile of people I dislike. I mean this comes of course in all variations, but people who get directly offended by questions or come up with that sweet smile and pseudoapologetic answer as to why they don't want to share this thing yada yada are just not interesting to me.

I show some interest in you and your perspectives about the world (I think I can proudly say I do come up with good questions and genuine interest, and I globally shine at asking questions, am not an obsessive one upper and remember people's life which makes it easy to get them to share) and all you can offer me for it is not wanting to share as if it was some kind of secret ? I don't get it, I mean, I do actually, but this is so dumb to me. We're all the same species sharing the same world why does it matter so much to block people from getting to know YOU?

It's actually rather rare tbh, but I know a few people like that (not even talking about disabilities here, but being overly private about objectively trivial stuff) and I strongly dislike it. Which is actually not a problem, as I said, I know I can directly stop pursuing any interaction with that person as we obviously don't have the same perspective about human relationships and willingness in this relationship.

Your understanding of social boundaries, social cues, and personal space (and the lack of respect for this) is very unusual. Others have a right to privacy, and what you attribute as malice could be due to shame, embarrassment, fear, or a host of other reasons. These are their own, and they deserve this. The way you personalize a lack of sharing aligns is not typical.

Please don't take this the wrong way, but have you ever been screened for Social Psychology disorders?

>Others have a right to privacy, and what you attribute as malice could be due to shame, embarrassment, fear, or a host of other reasons. These are their own, and they deserve this.

Did you read my post ? Where am I saying that they don't ? I tried to make as clear as possible that just as it's their own right, I have no interest in befriending or have further talking with people like that. Is that pathological?

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