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if it were acceptable, my s.o. would have a blog post about it that I could just link you to

Not to deny your lived experience or anything but (purely for the sake of providing a reference for discussion and not taking a position either way) TERF content is widely available on the Interwebs.

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I can't find any because I don't know what TERFs call themselves (the term appears to be solely used by their detractors). Maybe my google-fu is lacking, but it seems to be hard to find. When I google things like "transgender and gender existentialism" I get only (unsatisfying) rebuttals and some poorly-thought-out complaints about trans people.

I think my s.o.'s viewpoint is a little more nuanced than "trans women aren't real women"

the term appears to be solely used by their detractors

I didn't actually know that, interesting.

Maybe my google-fu is lacking, but it seems to be hard to find

It's entirely possible that your fu is fine and this material is pushed down the index as a matter of policy.

Bigots usually wrap their hate in fancy words. It doesn't make their hate less hateful.

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