Maybe because they've already made bank and are sick of dealing with the app store? With those kind of profits, Apple should be accomodating them, not vice versa.
Imagine if you were competing with Camera+ who, because they sell a lot of apps, were allowed to use the volume button as a shutter trigger. You come along with your camera app and try the same thing, only to be shut down by Apple just because you don't sell as many apps. That is definitively anti-competitive behavior and is the antithesis of what an app store should be.
If they really want to keep up with this nonsense they can make some sort of an "Apple Approved" logo that gives you better search rankings in the market if you get it. This draconian approval process is ridiculous.
Whether or not Apple should regulate app approval is a completely separate argument from the one presented in your original post. You stated that "with those kinds of profits", Apple should accommodate them. That implies favoritism. The only thing worse than a regulated app store is a regulated app store that exhibits favoritism.
Though I suppose yes, I would say that regulation based on sales is a much better metric than the capricious whimsy that currently governs the Apple approval process. (And yes, I'd call the HID standards whimsical, and although they specifically are not capricious, I'm again speaking in general.)
The process annoys me too, but I can see the reasoning behind it, and I think a lot of it is prudent.
Also, you don't throw away your own rules for one successful developer.