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Comment by zschuessler | Hacker News Reader

It's a fine line, isn't it? Ha! You're correct of course.

To anyone with fear of being creepy: my good friend shared a video with me recently on vulnerability. It forced me to rewire my brain:

https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability

One item I'd add to the article on being charming: be vulnerable. Vulnerability is relatable, it's genuine.

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You also have to accept the possibility of being creepy. People have varied and different responses to things and there is no way to 100% eliminate the possibility that any given person sees you as a threat to their safety. All you can do is take reasonable precautions so that a reasonable person would not be creeped out. Keep in mind that "reasonable" is culturally-dependent, so you should pay attention to the local social norms as aspirationally advocated and actually practised. One useful thing to do is to go into a situation with at least one friend so that you can check in with them when situations are ambiguous.

Someone once told me that the way they can always tell if someone is an American traveling abroad in their country is that they always have this stupid shit eating grin on their face and most everyone else keeps a neutral expression.

If you are out of your cultural element, you can cross the line into apparent insincerity with surprising ease. Always know thyself.

Many Londoners (or Australians living in London) find that expression somewhat charming. Just don't talk to strangers on the tube.

Nothing is genuine if you're doing it deliberately. The longer an interaction goes on, the more likely you are to be incongruent.

How did this TED Talk affect you? I watched it, but I can't say I feel a great sense of unworthiness in my life.

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