I was convinced that I had ADHD by the time I was 21 after a lot of struggling in high school and college. I went to a psychiatrist and he asked me the basic DSM IV questions and he said it was a 90% match. So he put me on Ritalin and then eventually Adderall. I also had severe insomnia so this exacerbated my abuse potential in order to make it thru multiple days with higher performance without sleep. Within a year or two, I got off all the stimulants because I was falling apart.

Almost 13 years later (and a lot more serious work struggle) I started talk therapy and began to realize that confidence, self-esteem, chronic anxiety and depression were my real underlying problems. It's hard to focus when you feel anxious all of the time. It's very hard to think deep - which reinforces the confidence and focus problem in high performance work situations. A vicious circle. So we tried the usual SSRIs, sleep meds, and benzodiazepines - which all have their own problems.

Another 12 years later after being on these meds, I stopped early in 2016. Life was slowly getting worse - and my physical health as well. In the start of this year I to realized that SSRI/SNRI are not fully effective if you don't change your lifestyle. So I cut out sugar, juice, sweet fruits, simple carbs, alcohol, and limited my caffeine to the morning - all of which makes a world of difference. Now I'm struggling to form the daily habits of cardio in the morning and mindfulness meditation a couple times a day. I feel 100% more focused and stable.

Only wish I had figured this shit out when I was a younger man.