I think you might be blinded by your love for high density. Traffic, long commutes, higher crime, higher rent compared to the average salary (adults need roommates), long lines for anything decent, crappy parking or crappy public transit... These are all reasons that almost every large city in the US sucks.

Smaller cities like Boulder, Fort Collins, etc offer a decent amount of variety while eliminating the majority of the problems with the large cities.

Career is about the only thing a big city can be critical for and you have to be in the right city for your field.