However, I think it makes strange assumptions on its readership. For example:
> If you’re a non-Haskell programmer, this might all seem perfectly fine and normal, and you probably have only a slightly elevated heart rate. If you are a Haskell programmer, you are most likely already having heart attacks.
Well, for a non-Haskell programmer, the Haskell code snippets make very few sense, simply because they are not used to the syntax. And those non-Haskell programmers who are used to the ML-syntax are programming in SML, OCaml or F#, which all have a similar type system to Haskell's, and hence do get "elevated heart rate".
If this article is really meant to be readable by non-Haskell programmers, the example code snippets should also be provided in a more mainstream language with static types, such as C++, Java or perhaps JavaScript+TypeScript.