I agreed to this deal and I feel like I do need to pay off the debt, but I'm lucky in that I have a job that will allow me to do it the normal way if the crypto market crashes (heaven forbid, plz). What about the 18 year olds whose helicopter parents never allowed them to imagine a filthy reality like failing to go to college?

Regardless of whether that kid should have been free-thinking enough to see outside their existence's bubble, it's irresponsible to exploit their ignorance for profit. Most of these kids haven't ever seen a debt-ridden life like they're signing up for. I grew up with parents who ranted and raged about debt, and I still did it. Are you sure the problem lies with the kids signing the papers (I guess clicking the "Get your loan here!" button these days)?