For people who have been socialized to put agreeableness and pleasing people above all else, a community where it's the norm to bluntly challenge others is painfully stacked against you. It almost immediately makes you feel out of place. It can, indeed, feel like people are shouting at one another. When else would the conversation be full of nothing but clear challenge? Why is everyone an asshole?

It happens that the two styles are often categorized as female (agreeableness and pleasing others) and male (bluntly challenging). And indeed, in American society, men and women are in the broadest of terms socialized in those ways.

Personally, I wouldn't trade this norm for the world. I'm much too familiar with the Dale Carnegie crap of wrapping every point in senseless complements and false uncertainty to want to waste more energy on it than required. My own or anyone else's. I recognize that this preference leaves some people feeling uncomfortable. But that's my preference, and I am keenly aware that others may prefer differently approaches.

(EDIT: But read dang's comments instead. They're better than this.)