Comment by baldfat | Hacker News Reader

Comment by baldfat | Hacker News Reader

I have friends in politics and I have even run for office (School Board 17 people ran for 5 positions and 4 were re-elections I got 6th :( but my friend I was running with she got 5th :).

My job every election is to go to where the screamers and yellers are. For some reason the election official leaves these people outside that will yell and throw a tantrum if anyone even mentions a different opinion, which lowers voter turnout. So I stand there for either 20 minutes or 2 hours until I can get people to start dialoguing with me. It can be painful but I actually go through these exact steps and until someone is felt heard and emotionally calmed down and they will never care about a single word you say.

I hear how my friend has tens of thousands of dollars spent on his Man Cave in his basement and made all these crooked deals that they have proof of. I stand there and say have you been in his basement? He has a 20" TV a drum kit for 20 years ago and an ugly green carpet. I also want to say that he actually has personal debt and why would he be in the hole if he was raking in the money but ...

People just love to feel like they have superior knowledge to anyone they disagree with. This is why debates never change eachother's mind, because we hold on to certain "facts" when in all honesty they are opinion or speculation at best.

I volunteered for my town Planning Commission last year and have to deal with this all the time now. Residents are constantly ranting on social media accusing us of moving town borders, down-zoning our enemies, holding secret votes, and cutting deals. In reality, the only thing we did last year was approve a swimming pool and do some research on parking.

It's extremely stressful for me as an introvert, but I quietly and patiently explain concepts like due process and open-hearings when I have the opportunity. I stress that everything we do is open to public scrutiny and public comment. I explain that we can't engage on Facebook because it's not an official public forum. I invite people to attend our meetings or read our meeting minutes, but they never do.

Real government is incredibly boring and complicated. Its much more fun to rant and rave about conspiracies on social media.

Every time I've had to deal with the general public in any kind of scheduled gathering for policy discussion, with or without specialists present, someone inevitably says something (loudly and at length) which displays such an utter lack of understanding of what the meeting is for and what it can accomplish that it makes me scream inside. It makes me feel terrible for those who are facilitating. I got so furious the last time it happened that I walked out and left my favorite water bottle behind.

We should have great respect for anyone with even remotely good intentions who is willing to plow through this mess of misguided humanity to get something useful done. I'm pretty sure I can't do it, so if I want to see change happen I have to support those who can.

"This is why debates never change eachother's mind, because we hold on to certain "facts" "

Disagree with the generalisation. Most yes, but not all. I used to be like it, as well, but consciously changed. I still feel mostly superior, though, but I am still open for reconsidering every one of my points, as I still remember really silly points of views I once had and considered superior.

Plus, I also found out, that if I am in fact superior - meaning I really understand the other person's (flawed) point of view even though he maybe communicates it poorly, I am usually able to get important points through if worded and timed right ...

But in general I believe the main problem is, that most people just never learned to communicate properly.

edit: but yes, when people are really angry, they don't listen, so what works sometimes, to ask them, if they also want to listen to my reply ... so that makes them thinking a bit. In one instance I remember getting a plain no. So I told him I go away as this is no communication anymore. And I did and later he came to and said, now he wants to listen - and we calmly sorted everything out, what would have otherwise potentially evolved into a violent fight.

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