> Focusing on the commonplace is a good idea if you're worried about saying the wrong thing.
This is good advice for most situations where people might get nervous and don't automatically know what to do (e.g. meeting a stranger).
This is good advice for most situations where people might get nervous and don't automatically know what to do (e.g. meeting a stranger).
This is one of the more humbling and meaningful submissions I've had the good fortune to read on HN.
I think it's a misinterpretation that we 'techie types' tend to make that such small talk has anything at all do to with the content of the words spoken, and not the act of engaging in person-to-person contact.
"The medium is the message": people initiating (banal! frustrating! meaningless! boring! impractical!), small talk aren't actually interested in the weather, they're trying to convey that they're interested in you and interested in conversing with you. The signal isn't the words, the signal is the face/body engagement.
If I ask you about the weather, your response gives me a chance to calibrate before we start sharing important information. For example, I may discover you have an accent that I need to get used to, or maybe you're too busy to talk (which you'll convey using posture and tone of voice), I can get a sense of your mood which might affect which topics I choose to bring up.
Once you realize that smalltalk is basically like a modem's handshaking process, it makes a lot more logical sense.
Wonder where that term came from? :)