> Nobody has any incentive to hand out definitive numbers or break it down into "X-dev-team #1 has access to X, Y, and Z"

For goodness's sake, please stop these straw-man arguments. I said this above once, but it seems I have to say it again: nobody ever asked for that level of detail. People have been struggling with far more basic issues. No current or ex-employee or intern has even come along to try to say something simple like "as far as I know, the average Facebook intern simply cannot access private user data regardless of any business reasons"; indeed, we've gotten anecdotes that that the opposite has actually happened. How you suddenly deduce that I'm looking for specific descriptions of what teams can access what data is just beyond me.