Some promising signs. A lot of these are true for no obvious reason.
- open 24 hours, breakfast all day.
- At least three industrial-grade bunn coffee makers
- waitstaff primarily comprised of middle-aged women and 20-something men of the "working folks" varities. Normally, greek or latino. Normally lifers. Normally gruff but kindly. The owner is likely to be on the floor, and will inevitably be a 50+ year old man, normally chunky, normally greek.
- red formica tables are a plus, as are naugahyde stool covers that have seen better days.
- chromed steel backsplashes and a bar with round stools that you can sit at.
- Gaudy exterior facade, that was last updated in about 1995, featuring (ideally) columns and usually neon signs.
- Menu should be big and tall with plastic sheets protecting the paper, ideally edged in fake leather. At least 6 pages long, with an inordinate number of dishes -- of which maybe 5 are ever actually ordered in real life.
- A lingering greasy smell of schmaltz and pancakes and hamburgers and singed coffee.
- not so much now, but historically, one jukebox per booth
- "Diner" in the name, normally also greek references (olympus, zeus, etc.)
Bodegas are corner stores with completely forgettable names, the usual selection of beer and drinks and snacks and other gas-station-like foods, a newsstand that actually sells newspapers, normally phone cards or phones and whatnot. Goya foods in abundance. There is also a long grill that makes aforementioned sandwiches, and there is nearly always a cat on the premises.