Let me suggest you start a food diary as a useful tool. I have been successful in mitigating certain somatopsychic symptoms largely using diet.
many people have bipolar disorder along with another illness such as:
anxiety disorder substance abuse eating disorder delusions runs in family Feel very “up,” “high,” or elated Have a lot of energy Have increased activity levels Feel “jumpy” or “wired” Have trouble sleeping Become more active than usual Talk really fast about a lot of different things Be agitated irritable or “touchy” Feel like their thoughts are going very fast Think they can do a lot of things at once Do risky things like spend a lot of money or have reckless sex Feel very sad, down, empty, or hopeless Have very little energy Have decreased activity levels Have trouble sleeping, they may sleep too little or too much Feel like they can’t enjoy anything Feel worried and empty Have trouble concentrating Forget things a lot Eat too much or too little Feel tired or “slowed down” Think about death or suicide
literally everything... and i've been denying it until like 2 days ago and am heading to the dr on monday after being talked out of killing myself for the 5th time by my wife ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
The tldr: I am often suddenly suicidal. I have essentially a salt wasting condition. There is a salt and lithium connection and I have found it really helpful at times to eat a meat and potatoes meal to mediate the salt-lithium connection when I am under stress and expecting to soon fall off the deep end suddenly.
mainly everything i have been prescribed has screwed me up further -- lithium specifically felt absolutely amazing to be on, i felt "content" and started feeling more balanced and creative etc... however i was sleeping until noon and felt a weird fog and felt like i couldn't program well (which is pretty much the only thing i do).
edit: the above fogginess may have been from the seroquel actually i can't remember.
I tried other medications but has other weird effects (i'm not good with drugs).
secondly, the suicidal thoughts weren't fading and I was very focused on the drugs as a means to my end (they were hidden from me by my wife because of this and she would give me my dosage when it was time).
i have to use a number of techniques to keep me grounded and most of the time I'm fine (i meditate, read, listen to specific types of music, exercise, etc) however there are triggers in my life which i have no control over and i lose control (ex wife making my life a nightmare via legal system, lack of funds etc).
to be honest i'm sort of fucked. i'm an aging dev with mental health issues, little to no support from family, can't really do meds because it fucks up my ability to work. sucks
Best.
I completely understand getting set off. I don't know how many thousands of hours I've lost to excessive anger and irritation. The bitch of it is that there's usually a good reason to be angry, just not _that_ angry.
With the proper meds, life isn't perfect, but I have the kind of peace of which I dreamt for decades...and without being zombified. I can actually hold down a job.
Friends, roommates, and noise generated by other people, still a big no. I live alone up in the hills and wfh. I like it that way.
As for meds, should you try any again,
Forget lithium. The best mood stabilizer I know is Lamotragine. If you are in the US, fill your prescription through canadadrugs.com. It's too expensive in the US.
As for anti-depressants, the Serotonin-based drugs never worked for me, but I take Viibryd now, which isn't Serotonin-based.
As for ensuring that you sleep (I was an insomniac for much of 20 years), Trazadone is an old, cheap, and non-addictive sleeping pill. It has nothing to do with ephedrine or melatonin, and won't mess you up at all.
late 30s here.
> there's usually a good reason to be angry, just not _that_ angry
i experience extreme anxiety more than rage
> Friends, roommates, and noise generated by other people
i am similar. thankfully my wife is a very quiet person.
> Viibryd
was on it for over a year -- didn't end well (weaned myself off after running out of insurance)