Oddly enough, this is an advantage in life that combat soldiers have that most modern people don't. Once you get to know and like somebody and they die -- right in front of you -- it changes you. Do that a dozen times and you realize that nobody's getting out of here alive. It's just a matter of when you punch your ticket.
I don't fear death like I used to. I think about what having a "good death" means: how I want to experience my last days. I also find that reminding myself of my imminent death is a good way to stay focused on my mission.
Put differently, when I was younger all I thought about was myself. Now that I'm older and have watched people come and go, I realized that for all intents and purposes, I never existed. I'm just here an extremely brief moment to hang out and see some stuff. To the universe, I'm like a gnat. (I half-joke with my friends and tell them I'm an anti-solipsist. It's more true than joke)
Combine that with the second great truth about life, dying is one of the most natural processes there is. Everything dies. No matter who can think of, they've either already died or are about to die. It is no more unusual than breathing. Or sleeping. From the outside, it looks like some people do it well and some poorly.
These two things are not depressing as long as I keep my focus outside myself. What have I decided my mission in life is? How's that mission going? Who am I helping? How can I help them better today? You stop looking at yourself and start looking out in the distance, the rest of this stuff is motivational, not depressing.
ADD: One of the implications of this line of thinking is that people in pre-industrial societies, where there were large families, lots of exposure to death growing up, and perhaps a more solid external value system instilled in childhood? They may have had a much better opportunity at a happier life early on than we do.
Considering how much time and energy was devoted to ideological systems centered on denying the finality of death, I have a feeling they didn't have any healthier an attitude towards it than we do.
Though, having dealt with a number of dying patients and their families, it would be great if people in the US could at least get past the denial stage and accept that dying is a real thing. It's not giving up, it's not failure, it's not whatever; it's the way we all end up.
It's mortality and fragility of closed ones that I have difficulty dealing with. An unexpected death last year really made me aware how relatively few times I am likely to still see my mother on our current 2-3 weeks schedule. Even optimistic hopes put this number in only few hundreds.
(I am a programmer btw.)
Investing in not giving a shit one day even if you don't want to work for 2 years straight is in my eyes something I can't put a price tag on -- it's invaluable!
That being said, nowadays I always have money on the side -- either to have work pauses (like right now exactly) or be able to go on impulsive vacations with my woman.
Also you start to hear about people in your own generation who passed early. Distant, if you’re lucky, but close enough that you will hear about it.
And your kids will make you feel old each morning at 5am.