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As far as a technical book, Data Intensive Applications by Martin Kleppman. This book covers distributed systems as well as databases, data-warehousing, and data-processing.

A lot of tools and patterns you don't see in school that describe how most of the "magic" behind high-powered software we use is implemented.

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This should honestly be the top-voted answer. The standard palette of cargo cult options are at best a weak proxy for real-world experience.

But Kleppman's book is genuinely and outstandingly useful for understanding the various components involved in modern backend architectures.

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