I quipped in a retro once that uppercase-Agile is agile the same way the Democratic People's Republic of Korea is a Democratic People's Republic. This was shortly after a teammate of mine described the three-to-four-hour biweekly sprint planning meetings he was subjected to on a previous team.

Here's a tip: calculate the cost of every meeting by taking your salary (or an estimate of the average salary in the room), dividing by 52 and then again by 40, doubling it, and multiplying by the number of people and then again by the number of hours in the meeting. Alternatively, nevermind the salary calculations: subjecting 13 people to a 3 hour meeting wastes roughly a full-time human-week of productivity.