More seriously though, I like the intuitive explanations and analogies used at BetterExplained: https://betterexplained.com/calculus/
Otherwise, you're just memorizing formulas you don't really understand and will forget eventually.
I'm doing the Khan academy series on calculus, starting with single variable calculus to refresh my math, to relearn the math for ML and Data Science. It's not my day job but I'm interested in the space so I can understand things under the hood instead of just using libraries.
In college, I was more obsessed with getting an A in my classes, terrified of any lessor score, and all that at the cost of not understanding much at all but just repeating formulas and techniques on tests.
For my kids some day, the biggest lesson I can teach them is that it's okay to fail. Getting straight As doesn't matter much at all, and you should always question things and think critically.