Then I finally gave in and got airpods, and now I see the light. Airpods are just amazing. I was skeptical at first just like the author, but he is fighting the wrong battle. Holding onto wired headphones and complaining about the 3.5mm jack is completely missed out on how amazing wireless headphones are (note: I have no idea if other wireless headphones are as good as airpods).
I can now be charging my phone and walk around my house listening to music. I can seamlessly transition my headphones from my computer to my phone with one click. When I'm working in the shop the cord so longer snags on things and rips the headphones out of my ears. When I'm biking I can just wear one headphone and leave the other one in my pocket instead of having the other headphone dangling down. When running there is no cord bouncing around.
And airpods don't even fit my ears, I have to put a little silicone wrapper around them every time I take them out of the charger and I still love them.