>> ...but I've taken the time to prepare a set of scenarios under which I would no longer want to live, and think about what would need to be taken care of...

I believe professionals would categorize what you wrote there as "planning suicide". So long as you have not started "taking care of" those things you have not begun executing your plan. Planning is a rather big step beyond contemplating - I hope you're doing better now. You may also want to consider that actually getting your affairs in order could be an enabler.