I'm loving the spirit if not the snark, but it's still odd OpenBSD's httpd (not to be confused with Apache httpd) calls it's CGI gateway "slowcgi" (and kindof derides CGI programming). I mean, it being slow is entirely the fault of the O/S isn't it ?: And using C gets a whole level more challenging with long-running processes and async I/O because of manual memory management. Native CGI programming IMHO is best enjoyed with a reverse cache if you can help it, such as with Apache's mod_cache.