Hacker News Reader

Hacker News

Comment by scandox | Hacker News Reader

Full thread

scandox

Sounds like you need to focus on yourself. There are many unanswered questions in the situation you've described:

1. Why are you in Japan? Is it a good place for you?

2. Why have you not been able to hold a programming job?

3. Why have you found it difficult "to do anything" with this or while with other companies?

4. Why are you concerned with what the Japanese people will think of other foreigners in relation to your actions?

5. How much of your savings can you recover from the company?

You seem like quite a self-aware person and yet your question lacks many of the contextual elements other people would need to help you. I think you need to talk this over with someone in person - probably someone with experience.

View on HN

Four can be answered with this similar article. https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/jun/09/everyd... When I lived in Japan, I noticed a pretty interesting dynamic play out in that many of my white friends had complaints and voiced concerns that were extremely common in the black community back in America. My black friends complained way less about the racism/xenophobia in Japan.

It comes down to wanting to be accepted, without needing to constantly be vouched for. when you know the default view of you is negative you want to improve it not only for yourself but your community, especially if the acceptance will lead to a noticeable higher quality life for everyone.

1. I came here after graduating college and really liked living here, so I stayed.

2/3. I've had three so far. The first one was a startup (I was an employee) that ran out of money. The second I spent 6 months working there but I couldn't concentrate on the work and couldn't produce anything. I don't think I committed any lines of code in 6 months. I was ashamed of my performance and quit right after renewing my visa. The third job I was there for 2 months. I felt even more pressure after doing poorly at the previous job. I felt so confused even when just setting up the environment. I barely managed to do anything in 2 months and used to just hide in the toilets sobbing. I felt ashamed and couldn't handle it anymore so I quit.

4. Foreigners have lots of trouble getting apartments etc in Japan. If I just pack a suitcase and get on a plane leaving everything here in the lurch I'd feel bad because it has effects on other people.

5. Maybe 40k?

I feel like points 1 + 2/3 are in pretty stark contradiction to each other, honestly speaking. Work is a pretty important part of life (if one must work that is). It's clear that you're finding the work culture there dispiriting and uncongenial.

If I were you I'd get my money out and take an extended trip home (if that is possible for you). You're worrying about other people at a time when you need more care than they do - after all "they" are a pure abstraction let's face it.

To put it simply: Put on your own oxygen mask first.

On points 2/3, have you found a community of like-minded people (likely expats)? It pales in comparison, but I moved from somewhere where I had a tight-knit community to one where I was a hermit and found it very demotivating. Talking to other people about our work and interests helped me get out of my slump. This is not a substitute for seeking professional help, but a complement that worked for me. It sounds like the HN Tokyo meetup (if you live in Tokyo) or reaching out to many of the replies here from people living in Japan would be a good place to start.

Since you ever only worked professionally in Japan, perhaps it's time for a change and try out other places. Especially a place where language barrier won't hinder you.

Sounds like you're still relatively young, go out on a new adventure. Don't be constraint in one place, you can always go back to Japan someday.

Some scientific technique you have here at approaching problems!

Reply on news.ycombinator.com