Why the shot at COBOL here? COBOL's creation of "real world value" by comparison is hardly a low bar: https://thenewstack.io/cobol-everywhere-will-maintain/
Existing projects were written in whatever language for whatever reasons, it's "Would I start a project in this language today?" that's the bar to beat in terms of language "quality" and, in that sense, COBOL is a fairly low bar for most domains.