It's over. You can either admit it now or wait. But from experience I'm telling you it's over. This is your one life. One trip around the stars.
Being in a bad marriage is like being that poor mouse in 'An American Tale'. Looking wistfully up at the night sky, thinking "Somewhere, out there..." (there is a life that doesn't resemble hell / a distorted version of expected reality).
Obviously, I'm making a leap here that you aren't some kind of monster or what-have-you and you don't deserve any of this. ; )