At least being on equal footing with everyone in the household so it's not seen as an avenue of control (which most domestic abuse scenarios are all about) would be a great first step.
In a few states I'm aware of, if you commit any form of domestic abuse and deprive the victim access to a phone, it's a separate charge. It can't/doesn't stop it from happening but it disincentivizes it by making the punishment worse.
I suspect a lot of this IoT nonsense will eventually attract the same riders. A documented history of remotely tampering with locks or lights, blasting heat in the summer and blaring music at full volume in any context will eventually become factors in a case of abuse.
Source: spent my entire childhood in a domestic abuse and domestic violence situation.
Also abusers often work very hard to make it difficult for the abused to leave: make them quit their job, cut off their outside social ties, make them pregnant against their will, etc.