What would you choose?
A lot of the same numeric tower decision exist. There's a big schism between List Comprehensions and not, there's no simple way to ship closures around, and Python's concurrent I/O story is a sizzling hot mess.
JavaScript has plenty of problems. So does Python. So why does Python maintain everyone else is stupid for embracing programming constructs that have been deployed successfully since the 60's?
The only reason Python is used is because it's popular so it seems to fit your criteria outlined in this comment just fine.