> Honestly though, I don't know what I'm trying to say much of the time, aside, 'help', lol. Life is terrifying. :)

from another comment made by you:

> Evolution does not care if an asteroid hits the earth and wipes out all life as it presently exists.

My advice: Stop worrying. Enjoy the randomness :) Maybe book a flight to Asia. Life is short. Embrace uncertainty. Sell luxurious sanitary pads to rich women in their 40s. Dress well and be funny. Then suddenly change your mood to sexy, ask a stranger for a kiss. I now write random love letters to my ex-girlfriends. Let's see where randomness will lead us to. See you on the other side of existence.