The ultimate fantasy of every programmer is to a) invent a new language and b) force other people to use it. It’s OK, we all get it, it’s fine. But let’s be honest about our motivations...

A previous employer had RQL, "relational query language". It was between 10,000 and a million times slower than SQL depending on what you were doing (under the covers it was just generating really bad SQL). But the engineer who invented it was sufficiently well connected to get it declared the corporate standard, so...